Are you lonely? Depressed? Well, chin up! Every day I come across more than one lonely soul's plea for a partner in our guestbooks, and I'm here to tell you there's plenty of love out there for everyone... you just need to know where to look. Don't end up like Jonathan King who, in the Asiana *6317* guestbook, said, and I quote: "I AM A LOSER! I SHOULD HAVE GOTTEN MYSELF A CHINESE GIRLFRIEND!!! PLEASE FORGIVE!" Now, there's nothing wrong with a non-asian girlfriend, (in fact, I used to be one), but surely you can see that with the proper counselling, Jon would have had no reason to pour his little pointed heart out like that! (You know I'd write him but, *sigh*... no email.) That's what I'm here for. To point your good eye in the right direction.

Kids even seem to be gettin' in on the action... but mostly they just wanna chat and exchange email. Like Kathryn and Alli in the guestbook at Matthew's Top Ten Sites. Good grief oh Friday things have changed! Remember the notes we used to write... "I like you. Do you like me? Check one: yes[] or no[]"? (*cymoril slips into a semi-comatose state brought on by thinking about "the good old days"...) Anyway, luckily for them, Matthew is a real stand-up kind of guy, (I happen to know him personally).

If you're just interested in how a person looks, maybe you should write to the Iceman. According to him: "I am one of the few Icelandic vikings and I'm good looking to, so write to me". So write to him! Or for those of you interested in the other sex, (there are only two? Well, that's awfully limiting isn't it?), you should go see Crystal who I found in the Straycat guestbook to say: "...I am a cheerleader and I play softball and basketball. Do you look good? I hope you do. Well then again I hope everybody does so that they won't be a discrace to human kind." I think if you're gonna be pretentious you should do a spell-check.

If an internet dating service is something you think might be your ticket to love, then you should visit the Luv Personals page! I'm not sure what the ads carry, but you can meet real... um... unique , (by unique of course I mean scary), people in the guestbook. Like John Swarey who wrote: "I am looking for a woman to give me sex and clean my house. The dead bodies are really starting to pile up. I need someone that can cook people and help me eat them. NON SMOKER please". (At least he cares about his respiratory health.) It's beyond me why this guy doesn't have a girlfriend.

So you have two choices. Log on and find yourself a date, or take Rick Euscher's advice...

"Sometimes you just have to take life by the privates, throw it in the car and see where it takes you."