More Classic Entries!

(Note, as hard as is was not to, we didn't fix any spelling again this time - all entries are "as is") Most Classic Extraterrestrial Visit Name: Aaaaahhhhhh.EEEEkkkkkk E-mail Address: galaxya35@space.universe Where I live: we don't have cities , we don't have provinces , we live on a planet in the distant sky Homepage URL: we don't play with homepages anymore Site name: Material Quality: WICKED!! Alan, you *are* the Material Girl Age Group: Over 80 Rating: I wouldn't rate this page if you paid me! How did you get here? I am secretly stalking you and know everything about you. I came here: because I felt like it, and am NEVER leaving! Comments: we are watching you. we see everything. there is no escape. there is no hope. there is no savior for you. we will come. someday. maybe tomorrow....while you are sleeping.....or taking a poo. we will get you. no one escapes. So What does Paula think? I'm locking the bathroom door from now on! So What does Tom think? Oh come on! Now takin' a poo isn't even sacred?! I hereby proclaim that from this day forth no weirdos from distant planets can harrass us when we are goin poo! And that's final. Most Classic Honest Question "why would i care about your website?" Paulina Borsook So What does Paula think? I asked him the same question. He's a lot like the Energizer Bunny. Warning, if you visit this site, be prepared to be stuck with this guy for life. So What does Tom think? Life would be much simplier if every web page had a "Care meter" on it! Like if the site had 1 little happy "care thing" that would mean, don't waste your time caring about this website, while, if it had say 5 little happy "care things" it would indicate that you should REALLY care about the website in question! This simple system woudn't leave Paulina in such turmoil! Most Classic Net Threat "Please remove my name (rwatson@mind.net) from any and all mailing/name listsyou currently maintain, process, store, distribute or are otherwise involvedwith/in. Additional contact from you or your agents will be consideredharassment, which will result in complaints filed with your service providerand/or providers of your provider. You have been warned." Richard Watson So What does Paula think? I'm not even going to write Richard and tell him that his name is in here, I hope he doesn't find out either, because I'm kinda scared of him. So What does Tom think? Hey! I like this little "get my name out of your stinkin system" response from Richard! He kinda sounds like the Clint Eastwood of the Net or something! And I have an idea! Let's ALL send Richard mail and tell him how cool he is! ; ) Most Classic Ms. Manners Graduate Name:No Social Skills Man Email:ischorr@cc.gatech.edu Date:Thursday - 4/Apr/96 - 3:58:33 Homepage:NEWT FER PREZIDENT Referred from:I am a psychic. I work for 1-800-PSYCHICS. I used my psychic abilities to get your URL. Comments: I DONT LIKE YOR PAGE AT ALL THERE ARE TOO MANY FUNNY STUFFS THERE AND THATS NOT WRITE BECAYUSE LAUGHTER PROMOTOES SILINESS AND THATS BAD BECAUSE THEN EVERYONE WILL BE CONCENTRATING ON LAUGHING AND NOT ON THE IMPORTANT THINGS LIKE HUNTING OR SHOWING OF YOUR BEER CAN COLLECTIONS OR ANYTHING...... So What does Paula think? Laughing vs. Hunting, Laughing vs. Hunting, Laughing vs. Hunting - why are all the decisions in life so difficult? So What does Tom think? Wow! Think about how fast you could surf the net if you were psychic! We're talkin WAY faster than T-1 here! Admitedly, this is cool.....But I just wonder why the "No Social Skills Man" doesn't use those powers to tap into the ole spell checker! Most Classic Time Wasting Question John P Baun jbaun@bossnt.com Do you and other people really spend the time to sit and read all this crap or am I just wasting my time here...and one more thing is Beaver your real name or are you just popular with the ladys? So What does Paula think? I think the beaver thing is the other way around. So What does Tom think? Today's tip for John: not only does Beaver take the time to read his guestbook -- or as you so eloquently put it, "crap," but now the whole world is reading it! I think you just had your 15 minutes of fame, dude! Was it as good for you as it was for us??! Most Classic Advertisement to Join the Armed Forces 09/10/96 18:08 caf7742@tam2000.tamu.edu College Station TX USA LCpl Forister, Clay 0341 MCRD San Diego Platoon 2002 Aug 95 Reserves: WPNS Co. 1/23 Marines Austin, TX Mortars: We drop little bombs on peoples' heads! So What does Paula think? Why not drop big bombs? Then you'd really have something to brag about! So What does Tom think? Now wait a minute! The commercial definetly does NOT say that if you sign up to be a Marine that you are signing up to drop little bombs on peoples' heads. Is this in the fine print?? Most Classic Marine Minister 09/10/96 15:03 shippa@ncr.disa.mil Stafford VA USA Sgt Shipp Jr., Alfred 4066 MCRD San Diego Platoon 2011 May 91 Active: MCB Camp Lejeune, 3rd Supply Bn 3rd FSSG Okinawa HQMC We're Natural born killers Ordained in the sight of god. So What does Paula think? Who told you God was watching? I think it might've been the other guy and you were just a little confused at the time. So What does Tom think? And just think.....these guys eventually come home and buy the house next door! Kinda brings a whole new meaning to the saying, "there goes the neighborhood!" Most Classic Cliff Notes Seeker I need to find more about the chamber of John Grisham, have to write a book report for school. If you have some information, send it to me via e-mail! Thanks N-O Enno Ladwig Hamburg, HH Germany - Sunday, June 09, 1996 at 22:34:36 (MET DST) So What does Paula think? I don't think this guy created a tribute to John Grisham just so Enno could cheat at school. So What does Tom think? I smell a new Get Rich Quick scheme here! First we read a bunch of books from the best sellers list and then we sell book reports to high school students!! We're gonna be stinkin' rich!! Most Classic Age Barrier From : Taka Kawashima Email: kawashim@bcvms.bc.edu URL : http://www.cs.bc.edu/~kawashim Comments: please do not visit if you are under 50 years old. So What does Paula think? I bet Taka has loads of visitors to his/her site! So What does Tom think? So I guess instead of 3D glasses, you need BIFOCALS to view Taka's site! Most Classic Cure All Another product that stops:Stress,Depression,FIGHTS:Alcoholism,ADD/ADHD & More! Me 35 single,male Adrian V. Mathews Portland, OR USA - Monday, August 12, 1996 at 16:53:35 (PDT) So What does Paula think? Gee, I've never met a 35 year old single male that could do all that! So What does Tom think? It's a miracle! I NEED this dude in my life! And if he can cure my wife's PMS I'll pay double! Most Classic Dead Guy I just needed A place,an escape from reality,A confrontationwith my soul before I lost control reality is deadand so Am I lizard king crestline, ca USA - Thursday, August 22, 1996 at 21:29:54 (EDT) So What does Paula think? You must really be dead, you don't even have an email address! So What does Tom think? King Lizard, you are deep, man,deep. In fact, you're too deep.........I highly recommend a vacation! Most Classic Too Close To Home for Paula I have been following the light for a while now, and the only problem that I can ever find is that people think we are satan worshippers.I would also like to know about other Wiccans in the Twin Cities area of Minnesota. Ron Saver a.k.a. Moonbeam Inver Grove, MN USA - Friday, August 30, 1996 at 14:59:36 (EDT) So What does Paula think? I live by Inver Grove Heights! I go to the Sam's Club there! Now I have to deal with witches by my home too? Ron, can you get me a good deal on a Halloween costume? So What does Tom think? I'm tellin you, if my name was Ron Saver I'd change it to Moonbeam in a heartbeat! Tell me how this works? You show up for a sales call and the secretary announces, "Mr. Williams, your 2:00 appointment, Mr. Moonbeam, is here to see you!" Huh?? This guy's mom was reading the Baby Name Book without her glasses! Most Classic "To Die For" I said I would sign your guestbook, so I will, but I must say I don't have the same values as yourself. Although there are many things I would die for, my country is not one of them. James Bear Jamestown, ND USA - Thursday, January 11, 1996 at 16:57:34 (CST) So What does Paula think? If you've ever visited Jamestown, ND, you would understand why someone would say they wouldn't die for their country. Jamestown's claim to fame is a state mental hospital! So What does Tom think? This leaves me with the knawing question: so what DO people in Jamestown, ND die for?! We're probably talkin' about for a bad call at the mud wrestling meet! Or maybe for spittin on their car! Or even for a game of lawn jarts! But never for their country...... Most Classic Copyright Infringement Name: Anil Referred by: Word of Mouth From: Fort Walton Time: 1996-08-16 23:25:00 Comments: Neet smiley face. I think your page is well done. if you don't mind i will start using ;o) So What does Paula think? No way, there are people that spend their entire lives making these things! Make your own! Here's one for you to drool over: τΏτ So What does Tom think? Whoa! How does Paula do that??!if I knew.....I'd steal it!! Most Classic Progressive Country Hi, i'm a mexican girl. I'm Boy Scout too and i would like to have fiends from different countries. Please write me ¨o.k.? Rosa H. Cruz Perdomo Rio Blanco, Veracruz Mexico - Monday, September 09, 1996 at 13:55:20 (EDT) So What does Paula think? Women take notice - Mexico has gone and let girls join the Boy Scouts!!!! So What does Tom think? And I can only imagine how many "friends" Rosa now has! Tom's tip of the day: The #1 way avoid perverts in cyberspace is to never admit you are a girl......in need of friends!