There it was -- Morten's Magnificent Guestbook. There's a menagerie of old books listed as well as how many signatures are in each. Some of them, I must say, weren't so nice, some were stupid, some frankly, confused me, and some refer, (repeatedly), to "spamming", which, until I discovered Mort, I thought was just some groovy processed meat thing. One particular guy left what I can only assume he deemed to be so much clever wit... well, you tell me what you think.. here are some excerpts from what he wrote in the October 1996 guestbook:

Blah, blah, blah.... though you're still a pathetic guest-book spamming dweeb.... yaddah, yaddah, yaddah... uglier spammed post...more of the same...pathetic and redundant signature files ..... spammed on guest books the world over.... yakketa, yakketa.... parasitic dweeb.... Extremely sorry Mort , but you suck..... yeah, yeah, yeah..... intellectual wasteland........fluff-merchant links .... and then some final thoughts. Sincerely, Tony Sprackett

So I was like, "Totally harsh toke, dude!", as I read the entry made by this guy in our beloved Morten's book. Needless to say, I opted to email him. I have to say though that I don't remember exactly what I wrote to him, (and since I accidentally deleted my entire email directory shortly after that, I don't even have a copy of it...), but it was similar in content to "Buddy! What's your deal?" He wrote me back rather quickly admitting to his total overuse of the words "spamming" and "dweeb", but not without defending his position. Ya just can't talk to some people.

Now, that's not the only less than friendly remark in good old Morten's guestbook, NO! You'll have to visit the "5 Worst Entries" to see what I consider to be, shall we say, the least cordial message I've ever seen in anyone's book! (I'll let you guess which one it is!) Had I seen this entry before I wrote to the spam guy, I'd have surely been writing him instead! You see, after I wrote to Mr. Sprackett, the guilt set in. I didn't sleep for days, I couldn't even enjoy cake. (I'm not sure how that tied into it, I just know it did). So, I decided to leave this doofus alone.

So if what you're looking for is a virtual cornucopia of links to personal homepages, this is the site for you! Not for the faint of heart though, there are a few cuss words and the occasional nekked pic left by Mort's arch enemies... (you might wanna close one eye before entering). Watch for the ever-present warnings to aforementioned signers to "curb your porn at the door" or be booted permanently!

Hugs and Kisses,
your Guestbook Goddess