 ever let it be said that we have no sense of direction here at Verycrazy.com. No sirree bob! We know EXACTLY where we're headed, boys and girls...and we want YOU to know, too. So let it be known that this is the OFFICIAL Tour Guide for the Craziest Sites on the Planet Tour and let it be known that it serves as YOUR road map whenever you get lost or when you just want to check out what's ahead! And it also tells you WHY these wacky sites are so crazy and how well they rated on the Official Very Crazy System! Also let it be known that the Very Crazy Team is bustin' their butts (make that a DOUBLE DOSE of butt bustin' for Chrystal!) to make this one REALLY crazy Tour! So put on your silly x-ray glasses and that goofy lookin' hat you got from your aunt mildred and let's go see some CRAZY sites! Here's how it works: Each site that has been selected for the Tour has been rated on a "crazy factor" of one to five. Use our simple system of "crazies" to determine The exact degree of craziness a site actually contains! And maybe you should take a quick look at The Very Crazy System that all these sites are reviewed by so you'll really appreciate them! Here then is the Official Tour Guide to for each stop on the 1997 Craziest Sites on the Planet!
STOP #1: The 100 Most Classic Guestbook Entries Ever!What an amazing and crazy thing the whole guestbook craze is! It has evolved into one of the great sub-cultures on the internet. Everybody signs everybodies guestbook! Unfortunately, some people make FOOLS of themselves when they do! That's where the 100 Most Classic Guestbook Entries Ever comes in! let's just say, Lord help you if you said the wrong thing the last time you signed a guestbook, because your entry is probably gonna end up here! Craziness: 5/5 
STOP #2: Helly JellySo you're out boopin' around the planet in your high-powered web browsin' machine when suddenly you realize...you need some stinkin' jelly beans and you need 'em NOW!! Only, you don't want any of those pansy jelly beans that those little girls eat...you want jelly beans that will put hair on your chest! Yeah! So, oh course, you pull that bad boy browser over at the official Helly Jelly site where you can dose yourself up just right with a few jelly beans made the way God Himself intended them to be! We're talkin flavors like: cocktail weiner, asparagus, breakfast sausage and even boiled okra! Yeah! Complete with Recipes... Craziness: 4/5 
STOP #3: I've Been Gooed!OK, everybody who has ever secretly drawn a mustache on beautiful women in Vogue magazine raise your hand! And anybody who has ever stood in front of the bathroom mirror buck naked making really stupid faces at yourself, raise your hand! And of course, anybody who has smashed their face all upside the car window so everybody passing by can see your boogers, raise your hand! We'd just like to say that the gods of facial wackiness have shined their light on you! Yes, it's time to step up to the Big Time - It's time to get Gooed! Craziness: 5
STOP #4: The Jive TranslatorSo suddenly you're in this room full of people. You look around, realize you're the only white dude in sight. But do you panic? Heck no! You casually wipe the sweat form your brow, and whip out your laptop. Why? Because you HAVE to do a crash course in Jive talk, of course! Fortunately, this is a small problem with such easy access to the nifty Jive Translator! Anybody can be speakin' hip hop in no time with this handy tool! No longer will it be so obvious that you are from the suburbs - greetings like "Hi, it's so nice to meet you" can quickly be translated turning your greeting into, "Sup, so's supa' fine ta meet ya'"! Craziness: 4/5
STOP #5: Lee's (Useless) Super-Hero GeneratorNeed a super-hero in a hurry? Well, a few clicks of the mouse can generate the hero you need, complete with weapon, vehicle and the secret source of their amazing powers. My own rescue was supplied courtesy of:
Craziness: 5/5
STOP #6:Fly PowerTry to picture this: you're sitting in front of your monitor and this annoying fly starts buzzing around your head. What do you do? If you're like us, you swat that sucker in mid air and watch it splat off the computer screen! However, not everyone thinks this way. In fact, those wacky people at Fly Power have figured out how to harness the power of the common house fly and turn in into a usable resource - AIRPLANE power! Yes, you too can learn how to build Fly powered planes! Sit in on a little Flypower history lesson, dicover how to actually CATCH those flys (instead a splat them off the screen!), get first hand tips for Engine Maintenance, and even order a Flypower Construction Kit to build in the privacy of your own home! Fly Power - Tapping the energy of Nature! Go get yourself some.... Craziness: 4/5
STOP #7:Farts on lineOK people...let's see if you can figure out what THIS site is all about?! Here's a clue - The Fart Mart, The Fart Joke Exchange, Fart Diet Tips, The 900 Fart Line, Farts Wav Pool, The Farts Archive, The Farts "Squeek of the Week"....do you get the picture?? We are talkin' nothing but FARTS here, folks! And we're talkin' farts out the wazoo! But just so you know, we're talkin' the finest fart stuff you can get your hands on! So do not delay - Take a few moments and stop by for a real RIP roarin' visit to farts.com! Craziness: 4/5
STOP #8: The Life and Times of Our Friend StickboyHollywood! Maybe it's the high-tech visual effects we love, maybe the suspence, maybe the drama, or maybe the comedy. Whatever it is, all we know is that we want it, we need it, we can't live without it! Well, boys and girls, you better brace yourself, because Hollywood just came to a computer monitor near you! It's action! It's Thrills! It's blood, guts, love and comedy too!! It's "The Life and Times of our Friend Stickboy!" Better get yourself a front row seat... Craziness: 4/5
STOP #9: A Very Crazy PhotogallerySo you're surfing from site to site looking for buried treasure when WHAM! you land on this site where you have to look twice to be sure you're seeing what you're seeing! Is that REALLY a picture of the person to whom this page belongs?? Or is is a bad science project?! yes, this site is devoted to immortalizing the grand genetic mistakes of all time -- and then who have the nerve to show us themselves on their site! Whoa! What were these people thinking?? Craziness: 4/5
STOP #10: The White Trash CafeLooking for a new and refreshing flavor in Web Page design? If so, you better head right on over to "The White Trash Cafe" When you enter the cafe, you are joyfully greated and seated by a waiter named Joey. Then get ready to enjoy many of the interesting selections provided by the cafe, including "KATHIE LEE'S SWEATSHOP SANDWICH" and "PACKWOOD'S RUMP ROAST" Prepare yourself for some side spliting laughs while visiting this page! Craziness: 4/5
STOP #11: The Gallery of the AbsurdThe Gallery of the Absurd, pretty much follows its title. which would be...Absurd! This site contains many crazy old slogans and advertisments that can only be termed as for-suredly absurd! The ads include advertisments from way back in the past till right up here in the present. After viewing all the absurd ads, you will for sure be left with the odd feeling... The feeling of, what kinds of wacked out minds could think up of such absurd ways to sell a product! And why didn't they come see US for input??! So sit back, laugh, and be amazed at the extreme and absurd lengths people go to to get you to buy their stuff! Craziness: 4/5
STOP #12: Bizarticles Online MagazineThere are lots of online magazines now on the net, but none of them quiet seem to measure up to Bizarticles. This place is just plain old strange -- Not to mention...CRAZY! Bizarticles has amusing articles, movie reviews and even an art Gallery for the crazed at heart! There is also a feature so you can make your OWN Bizarticles. What could be any more fun than that? Craziness: 4/5
STOP #13: SPIT!Are you one of those people who thinks of spit as just a mere liquidy substance produced by a gland in your mouth? Well, you've got a lot to learn! And the SPIT page is here to clue you in! Find out what it is, where it comes from, and what to do with it! Discover cool games to play with spit! Learn how to clean stuff with it, how to groom your hair with it and even how to use it as a weapon! This is practically worth college credit hours! Don't miss it... Craziness: 4/5
STOP #14: OTB Online (Sesame Strip)Sesame Strip makes you feel like being a kid again. It is based on every childs favorite educational program, Sesame Street. The page has many columns to help parents cope with problems relating to children. An example of some of the advice given is how to handle rude comments about your baby from people. When you are done loading your mind with this helpful advice, head on over to Bert and Ernies gay lifestyle guide???? Prepare youself for great laughs at this sight. You will never think of Sesame Street in the same way again! Craziness: 4/5
STOP #15: The Lunatic LoungeSome sites simply define the BIZARRE side of crazy. The Lunatic Lounge would have to be one of those places! The site contains a gallery of pictures that are just TOO crazy to even begin to explain! After your done horrifying yourself with pictures (foot sandwich, anyone?), you can take your ears and listen in on the not too soothing sounds of stupid human noises (one of our personal favorites!) Then prepare your stomach and other body parts to look, listen and learn from all the other grusome wackyness this page has to offer!! Craziness: 4/5
STOP #16: Quasi-Comprehensive Candy Bar Wrapper Image ArchiveOK people...only dorks collect stuff like stamps and beer cans. if you want to REALLY collect something cool, collect candy bar wrappers! The Quasi-Comprehensive Candy Bar Wrapper Image Archive contains wrappers from over 255 diffenent candy bar wrappers! And it's growing by the day! It's like being at a grocery store with every candy bar you could imagine! Except for the fact there is....... no candy... only WRAPPERS. Candy Wrappers range from the old time favorite, Sugar daddy to the new Whatchmacallit candy bar...and BEYOND! Prepare your mouth to water as you lust for candy just staring at all these wrappers! Craziness: 4/5
STOP #17: Weird Stuff!This page is fun for all ages. It gives you complete intstuctions along with pictures to do some really weird stuff. Haven't you always wanted to know how you make homemade fog, or anti-roach devices? Now you can! Impress your friends with your incredible new found knowledge of weird stuff! And be sure to keep a look out for the instuctions of making a Nuclear Bomb, coming soon! Craziness: 4/5
STOP #18: Bruce's PantsWhat could be more outragously crazy then a web page dedicated solely to some guys pants? At Bruce's Pants, you are feed tons of crazy pictures and information all about pants. The web page is based on a silly picture taken of Bruce as a little kid with some insainly crazy 70's pants. Prepare yourself to see pair after pair of pants...Bruce's way! Craziness: 4/5
STOP #19: Empty Trash TalkAre you surfing the web, or just wadding in the water? If you are just wadding in the water, this page can help! This page was designed to provide clueless people what all that confusing computer lingo is all about. It is complete with a total glossary so you too can find out what PREPRESS and ANTIALIAS mean. When your done expanding your vocabulary, go to "Noh Brainer" for some challenges that are designed to test your solving skills. Your brain will actually ache from all the new CRAZY information being fed into it!! Craziness: 4/5
STOP #20: The Search for the True KillerO.K. - who cares that it's been like 5 years since the OJ Simpson Trail. The great thing about the net is that we pride opurselves in NEVER letting anything die before we have the answers! And even though we've all had a major OJ Simpson overdose we all still REALLY want to know who the heck killed those people! The Search for the True Killer is a page dedicated to helping good old OJ in the search for the TRUE killer. After 5 years, suspects that you NEVER thought would surface have come to light!- including, Martha Stewart, David Hasselhoff, JO Simpson (OJ's Identical WHITE twin brother!), Elvis Presley himself, that big purple guy, Barney, not to mention several other unlikely canidates! Your vote can help make a difference! If you really love this country, go and help solve this crime today! Craziness: 4/5
STOP #21: The Worthless PageThis page is jam-packed and crammed full of all those completely worthless sites we all love to visit! New and exciting worthless sites are upated often. Almost everytime you visit the page you will be welcomed with yet another worthless site for you to waste all your valuble time! What better use IS tthere for the net??!! Oh, Don't forget to vote for your favorite worthless site too! Craziness: 4/5
STOP #22: Bananas on the WebWho would of thought a whole web page could of been devoted to a fruit??? "Bananas on the Web" contains anything and everthing that you would ever want to know about bananas! Have fun surfing through the banana label collection and reading "A woman's perspective on bananas and men". You know you can't pass up a page devoted to all you ever needed to know about bananas, so I'm sure this page will be time well spent! Craziness: 4/5
STOP #23: Lip Balm ANonymousLip Balm, many people fall victim to this crazy addiction every year. Many people become addicted with no hope for recovery. Now, though, there is a page on the web devoted to this addiction. At "Lip Balm Anonymous" you can talk to other people with the same addiction, and then start your road to recovery. Check out the industry of addiction, where Bonnie Bell Lip Smakers, is even trying to get your kids hooked! Or how The Body Shop is even using sex to help sell lip balm. Could anything be more crazy??? Craziness: 4/5
STOP #24: Internet in a BabySo you're out surfing the web and you're sayin to yourself, "Where in the heck can I find a place where if I click on an eyeball I'll go to some sort of cool vision type site?" Or maybe you're thinkin, " And If I click on a forearm, I want to get info about doing some forearm stretches or something!" I mean really, isn't this what we're ALL thinking while were out here bopping from site to site?? Well, good news! There is just such a site! In fact, there's BEEN just such a site since way back to 1995! Internet in a Baby. Go there now to cure your need to connect to essential "body parts" sites!! Craziness: 4/5
STOP #25:Useless Facts for Crazy PeopleWhats more fun then having a bunch of annoying and useless facts to blab to all of your best buddies? At Useless Facts for Crazy People, you will find everyting you ever wanted to know that is perfectly useless. Like did you know that America throws away 7 million pennies a day! Or that the average speed of Heinz ketchup from the mouth of an opened bottle is 25 miles per year. Talk about crazy! Craziness: 4/5
STOP #4:The Guys Versus the Girls Burp Contest!So....since you were old enough to talk, you and your brother have thought you were the KINGS of burpin' and fartin' and carryin' on! It wasn't long before you were takin' those skills to the streets and strutin' your stuff in public. People were in awe with the breath-taking power of your burps! Not content to amaze the mere public, you needed to demo your manliness by impressing some BABES with this incredible talent! Well, what a SHOCK it was the day the babe burped BACK! And even worse was the day she blew your doors off with a burp waaaaay mightier than YOURS! Suffering humiliation and shame, you and your brother went back to burpin' in the privacy of your own home...until NOW! You've practiced long and hard; you've burped until you've passed out! It's time for some revenge on those girls who think they can out burp your butt...it's time for the The Guys Versus the Girls Burp Contest! Craziness: 4/5
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